Bonfire Night

(Picture Credit- Slideshare)

Back in the day,

When I was a little whipper snapper in Leeds,

We would go “chumping”, as we called it, for firewood,

For weeks and weeks.

Everyone built towering infernos,

Ready for November Fifth:

Bonfire Night.

Some made effigies of the “evil” Guy Fawkes,

Leader of the “Gunpowder Plot”

And stood in the street saying

“Penny for the Guy”.

What a night!

Roaring fire on a chill Winter night,

Those flames burning your face.

A World War Three

Of Fireworks:

Rockets, Catherine Wheels and bangers.

Bangers to scare the girls.

Kids painting pictures in the air

With sparklers.

And best of all,

That yummy gingery Parkin cake:

A taste I cannot put

Into words.

Oh and deep dark

Treacle Toffee,

Jacket potatoes,

Roast chestnuts

And Crunchie-like cinder toffee.

It’s many a year since I went to a bonfire.

Politically correct firework displays

Are more the modern thing.

Seems strange to burn the effigy

Of a man who had the sense

To try to blow parliament up –

Especially a Yorkshire Man.

Ha ha.

But then I read that good

Religious reasons are behind

This bonfire Celebration:

Those flames are orange

After all.

Not wishing to create divisions

Anywhere in the world,

It’s still good to see traditions

Being maintained.

Let those fires and fireworks keep rising,

Constantly emerging from the shadows

Of Halloween.

Paul Butters

© PB 27\10\2018. Written at the request of Stephen Chapman. “Treacle toffee” added later, with “jacket potatoes” and “cinder toffee” added on 31\10\18. “Roast chestnuts” added 18\11.

Stalemate

Remoaners to the left, Brextremists to the right,

Theresa “Maggie” May has an uphill fight.

I can’t see her lasting many more days,

Unless she changes her stubborn ways.

Theresa is an immovable object.

Her hubby must be totally henpecked.

Trying to please just everyone,

Annoying all is what she’s done.

Right now she is UK Prime Minister,

But her own back benchers are getting sinister.

Some say she’s sold us down the river,

A thing for which they can’t forgive her.

Others claim she’s gone too far,

As we should stay just where we are.

Some see Europe as our friend,

But others say the UK we must defend.

Ireland is a sticking point

A thing that’s gonna rock the joint.

They don’t know where to put the border,

Without causing grief and disorder.

What an impasse, feels like stalemate,

Are we heading to be a slave state?

Who knows what’s going to happen next?

No wonder we are all perplexed.

Paul Butters

© PB 17\11\2018.

PS the word "Brextremist" was used in The Commons this week by Labour MP Angela Eagle so I "borrowed" it.

Words

Armies of words gather in my head

To march so boldly onto the page.

They work their wonders

Who knows how?

Why they pick me as their channel

For their landing craft

I’ll never know.

Some accident of birth:

Genetic fluke –

For which I take no credit –

Makes me nectar to these ants

That line themselves into verse.

Compulsion drives me to write

As salmon must jump those water falls

To return to their spawning grounds.

I have to speak, or rather type:

Express myself

No matter what,

Whether good or bad.

Is there a cure for this affliction of mine?

Can I ever stop myself from writing?

I very much doubt it.

Paul Butters

© PB 16\11\2018.

Religion

Picture Credit - Adam och Evan by BjorkBloggen com)

 Today I posted the following on Facebook:

"When I got home from the pub there were 2 Church of the Latter Day Saints students (?) on my doorstep. This time I engaged with them fully. In short I told them that I am an Agnostic but my poems show I have Good values. I will Google their church & hope they check out my poems. I liked that they believe that the Bible is full of metaphor rather than literal truth."

PB 10\11\2018.

More Quotes!!!

There may well be repeats here, but hey ho. More from the insufferable me (mainly from Twitter). This follows on from an earlier blog-entry (scrolldown for that):

26\7\17 – From Facebook:

Jack and Jill went into town

To fetch some crisps and sweeties

Now he can’t keep his heart rate down

And she’s got diabetes

2) Mary had a little lamb

It ran into a pylon

10,000 volts went up its arse

And turned it’s wool to nylon

11\12\17 – (From Facebook\Twitter) - (Me) - I hope the wrongs that I write are outweighed by the wrongs that I right.

7\1\18 – (Me) - Once upon a time they made me write a story. I can't do that. The End. (With Mike Bee in mind).

6\1 – (Me) - I feel I have much in common with good old David Beckham. For a start I can't run or head a ball (paraphrasing what George Best said about DB).

My Reply on Facebook - Like Beckham I also have my "feminine" side - I can be moody and have difficulty with parking. Lol.

21\12\17 – (Me) - I think Jose Mourinho Boobed yesterday by calling Bristol City "Lucky". Rather Unsporting.

20\12\17 – (Me) - In the near future, if teachers say you are easily led you might well Unfollow anyone naughty! Lol

17\12\17 – (Me) - Embarrassing! Mo Farah at last wins BBC Sports Personality Award but they lose the link to him the moment he receives the trophy!!

15\11\17 – (Me) - When they test my urine they use a DIPSTICK. I mean, what could be more appropriate for checking ME???? LOL

13\11\17 – (Me) - Someone suggested I could use Match dot com. But no I see enough football already thanks. And Star Trek of course.

8\11\17 (1) – (Me) - "Dystopian Future"? What about "Dystopian PRESENT" ???

8\11\17 (2) – (Me) - Footballer: "Everyone is kicking me!" Manager: "No problem so long as they don't kick the bloody ball!" lol

8\11\17 (3) – (Me) - A problem with some slurs & innuendo I see on TV & media for me, is - as the robot would say on "Lost in Space", "IT DOES NOT COMPUTE." Lol

27\10\17 – (Me) - Speak Out! Great to free yourself from Society telling you what you Ought to think! From Nanny State Conditioning and Brainwashing....

21\10\17 – (Me) - It irritates me that excellently patriotic and other great posts get lambasted because they came from bad authors! Just saying.

16\10\17 – (Me) - Many say Social Media is a "Bad Thing". Years ago it was phones, letters, smoke signals... But always it was only one culprit: PEOPLE.

15\10\17 – (Me) - Anyone else a FAN of air conditioning??? Ha Ha

12\10\17 – (Me) - Oh for the days when clap only meant a way of applauding.

6\10\17 – (Me) - If Dr Who were to bring Shakespeare to 2017 the latter might put more Sex in his plays and rebrand himself "Shagspeare". Lol

2\10\17 – Sarcastic Rover – “Humans will always murder, no gun law can change that!” screams a country that outlawed too much toothpaste on a plane.

4\10\17 – (Me) - New insult from me: "She is as common as a Paypal Scam". Lol

2\10\17 - (Me) - In case you didn't notice: I seldom let the TRUTH spoil a good story, as the cliché goes... hehe

2\10\17 (2) – (Me) - I always listen to folk and read their stuff. But what I understand or remember is quite something else. Lol

1\10\17 – (Me) - COFFEE - it woke me up a bit at Work. But Not Much - as my colleagues will testify! LOL

27\9\17 – (Me) - Kim Jong-un's favourite tipple: Newkie Brown. LOL

19\9\17 – (Me) - Thought for day: keep cool, calm and collected. Be relaxed and mindful. Fear, anxiety and anger are only for when you are threatened.

10\9\17 – (Me) - WHY do people get hung up on DETAIL??? It's the Soul, Essence, Heart of a thing that counts. Ignore all those woods and see the Oak Tree! 8\1 – “Ignore the forests, see The Oak”.

4\9\17 – (Me) - Jong-Un is a Wrong-Un. Lol

3\9\17 – (Me) - The Met have warned that anyone caught using a mobile while driving is liable to get more points than Arsenal. LOL (Arsenal had made a bad start to the season then).

21\8\17 – (Me) - Our government says everything is Hunky Tory. Lol

18\8\17 – (Me) - When on your mobile you've got Google Listening and someone shouts, "WTF are you looking up now???" (& Google Hears!)..... LOL

14\8\17 – (Me) - I'm not interesting in being compliant, normal, fashionable, trendy or even right. I just want to be ME.

9\8\17 – (Me) - I can be very creative with words. However, accuracy is another matter. Lol

4\7\17 – (Me) - Today the USA declared Independence from those imperialistic, tyrannical, evil bastards - The British. Hang on there, that was US!!! Lol

3\7\17 – (Me) - Think I found my niche on the internet: SILLINESS. Hehe.

3\7\17 (2) – (Me) - Saw a video on how to put on a condom. Educational! Never knew safe sex was an issue for cucumbers and bananas. Lol

3\7\17 (3) – (Me) - For strengthening your arm and shoulder muscles, you can't beat lifting a pint of bitter repeatedly. It feels lighter each time.

30\6\17 – (Me) - Things that make you feel good are inherently addictive. Such as drugs, booze and sex. So we are all potentially druggies, alcoholics....

5\6\17 – Inspirational Quotes - Be the type of person you want to meet.

5\6\17 (2) – (Me) - NASA are clever: they will send that probe into the sun's Corona AT NIGHT when it's cooler. ;)

5\6\17 (3) – (Me) - TO BOLDLY SPLIT AN INFINITIVE. LOL :)

4\6\17 – (Me) - When I "Like" a post of mine you shared it doesn't mean I like my own post but that I like that you liked and posted my post. I think.

30\5\17 - (Me) - Improvement, improvement, improvement.

1\5\17 – (Me) - In my local store the sign on the ice lolly cabinet said, "Please Close Lids." I did - couldn't see a bloody thing. Lol

1\5\17 (2) – (Me) - ….Still putting the CON in Conservative

24\4\17 – (Me) - From old bloke with loud voice at cafe - I think I look like an older Tom Cruise but everyone else thinks I'm Tom Booze. Lol

13\4\17 – (Me) - As she took my bloods, the phlebotomist sang, "You're so vein..." lol.

2\4\17 – (Me) - The last time I recall someone forming a political "union" on a continental scale it was called the "USSR"! Jus' sayin', Europe.

9\3\17 – (Me) - Observation - I even daydream when I'm asleep dreaming.

27\2\17 – (Me) - Let self-esteem make you beam.

25\2\17 – (Me) - Sorry I can't talk to you just now, I'm reading up on Emotional Intelligence.

25\1\17 – (Me) - Some of my friends only drink beer at weekends: Wed to Sunday inclusive. Lol

29\12\16 – (Me, sort of) - Funny Fantasy Football names from HHC League Southampton: Tea & Busquets, You Kante be Serious, Zlatan's Ponytail....lol

25\12\16 - (Me) - Some people have boring obsessions. Money, trivia, celebrity gossip... Why can't they have INTERESTING obsessions like mine??? Lol

14\12\16 – Pinterest - "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."

3\2\18 – Later deleted from web - Some say I have Autistic traits etc. Well that's better than being called an arsehole. Lol.

3\6\18 – Fr Helen “Ravey” Young on Facebook - "The spiritual aspect of valour is evidenced by composure--calm presence of mind. Tranquillity is courage in repose...A truly brave man is ever serene; he is never taken by surprise; nothing ruffles the equanimity of his spirit. In the heat of battle he remains cool; in the midst of catastrophes he keeps level his mind."

Nitobe Inazo - Bushido: The Soul of the Samurai.

30\7\18 – (Me) – “Personally I feel that the Internet /social media is a boon to communication & education. But also for bullying, trolling, bigotry, censorship, fake news & other evils. So we have to take the rough with the smooth.”

(15\8\18) All Me unless Stated otherwise…..

24\1\18 -  A lady online suggests Theresa May should dye her hair. That should sort everything! Lol.

2\2\18 - Laziness is Genius.

26\2\18 - I promise to eat the whole food and nothing but the food, so help me God. Lol.

15\3\18 - Don't go disputing with Putin!

25\3\18 - Posh people play croquet but frogs play croaket. Lol.

26\3\18 - How does a dog know when he gets "that scent" he must mate at all cost? Did his Dad sit him down & give him a talk on "The Facts of Life"?

4\4\18 - So a 78 year old man is Arrested for killing a burglar. Was he supposed to give him a welcome cuppa??? WTF.

30\4\18 (1) - I love literature and art (and music). It's about expressing your soul in a magical way. A great escape from the drudgery of practical chores and the confusion of engineered machinery and factory fodder.

(2) I love WORDS. They can be musical and full of SOUL. You can vent your emotions with them.

(3) Recently, in a sleeping dream, I walked into an area full of crystal(?) flowers of every colour and hue. So detailed. So VIVID. I could sense them ALL. I stood there wondering how my subconscious mind could create such fine stuff. Have had such Vivid dreams about many scenes...

(4) Methinks I got a new word: "mefeels". lol.

15\5\18 - I take my whippet down a snicket to play some cricket on a sticky wicket. Being from Yorkshire, lads and lasses.

23\5\18 - I work on the principle that if I get criticised I must be doing right.

(2) As I told my non-Social Media friend Norman, on Friday I will be at the Beer Alter, God Willying. (This refers to a certain popular pub on Cleethorpes Seafront).

4\6\18 - People ask me WHY I write! Dare I "come out" and Admit I write??? How do I explain the sheer Joy of "living" while writing\typing a story or play or script? Or how I Love playing with words to build poems? Or how I am Compelled to write until I nearly burst....???

30\6\18 - My spelling is good but certainly not purfect. Lol.

4\7\18 - Using the computer? It's a CACHE 22 Situation! Lol.

19\7\18 - Again - We need more houses etc. We have the workers and the machines to build whatever we like. But we have no money! No bits of paper covered in symbols. No bank computer funds. So no building is done. If aliens watch us from space they will conclude WE are quite MAD !!!

20\7\18 - I'm not OCD. I've checked hourly to make sure.

28\7\18 - Have just got a job with a "Fake News Agency" to create stuff for them, with a massive salary and a company car.

(2) - Donald Trump has sent me an email saying I'm doing a "Great Job" - nearly as good as Churchill - as My fake news is deflecting away from all the fake news about Him!!!

(3) - I turned down a company car from a Fake News Agency & instead became a captain on one of their starships!!!

(4) - Thought for the Day: Was (and is) selling books the equivalent of getting Likes and Shares on The Internet???

(5) - Personally I feel that the Internet /social media is a boon to communication & education. But also for bullying, trolling, bigotry, censorship, fake news & other evils. So we have to take the rough with the smooth.

5\8\18 - There are bound to be lots of bars on Mars. Lol.

(2) - Back in the day, footballer Costacurta blended in well with the AC Milan back four.

13\8\18 - Idris Elba??? I'm Butters, Paul Butters. Lol.

(2) - I might not do "Mindfulness" but I sure do Absent Mindedness. Hehe.

(3) - I see it's Monday 13th! That could well be worse than the Friday version.

15\8\18 - In the spirit of moderation in all things, I am only moderately moderate.

(2) - My summary of this year's summer: it's been summery.

(3) - Tip for using "Word" - To get rid of those horrible red lines, right click on the underlined words in turn then click on "Add to Dictionary". lol.

Paul Butters